were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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