Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
