Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
