I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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