I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
