If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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