Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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