What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I pour the whiskey from now on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
