just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
