Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
