So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
