Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
