I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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