Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
