My friends, they love my intelligence
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
