Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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