Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
