I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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