god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
