I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
