Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize
