Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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