I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
