Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
