Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
