yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize