We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
