Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
