Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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