i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
