i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
