and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
