Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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