My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
