I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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