You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize