do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
