So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
