We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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