During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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