please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She's the barista slut.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
