Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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