summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
