He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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