great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
