Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
