You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
