I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
