tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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