Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
In America we eat man semen.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
