She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
