Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
