Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
