then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
