Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
