It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
