Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
