Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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