yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need a beard to bite.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
