I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
